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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?